Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Lately

I have been feeling oddly uninspired here on this little blog of mine. And blogs in general for that matter. A slipping interest I noticed happening over the past few months or so. I figured it would surely pass, as it usually does. But. It hasn't. 

Last weekend, while sitting with friends on the beach at sunset I realized something that still bothers me today - the realization that as this big electric sun was falling into the horizon setting the sky ablaze with neon streaks above the ocean, I was far more concerned with wanting to capture the moment for a thousand strangers to see (via Instagram) rather than simply digesting it for myself, the way I have so many times before, in years past when camera phones and Istagram did not exist. I actually didn't have my phone handy, so it hurt a bit to let it go "unnoticed" even if I was there as enchanted witness in my own right. 

It got me thinking... 

So much in my life connected with the Internet these days is starting to propped, forced, or downright false in nature. Thing is, I need to be here, we're in the midst of creating a business that thrives online, a business I find exciting and fulfilling in every aspect, and one that obviously requires it's fair share of Internet support and consideration to fully evolve, but I'm wondering how to go about it with some kind of tact and integrity, that doesn't get on my nerves (or worse, everybody else's) because lately, seems everywhere I turn someone is selling something: themselves, their craft, a new business venture, ect, and it's really starting to wear on me. Be it glorified family life or a newly crafted creation, it's hard to find anything that looks and feels genuine to the core anymore as far as blogs go. 

And, is that even possible? 

Obviously those of us who keep personal blogs have an innate sense of image we wish to cultivate in this weird little cyber world, where there are egos involved and politics at play and all the stuff that will ultimately undermine pure, raw creative intentions, and I get it. I'm not excluded myself in the least, I'm simply saying that I think I need to take more time and consideration as to what I want this space to be. What I post, what I share and how I do it so that I don't give up on the blog all together seeing that that's really my only other option.

I try to remind myself of my initial reasons for starting the blog: to share the beauty in my daily life as a stay at home mother getting use to life in a suburban household caring for these three wild boys when just before this suburban settlement, I was in college, studying to be an English teacher, which meant I was consumed with mind altering books and fiery conversations with passionate people about art and politics. A constant state of inspiration rooted in new knowledge and fine texts. I loved it. The blog was my way of keeping a creative outlet flowing. In some way or another. I have always taken pictures of my family and made videos of our lives, now I had a place to share them with an incredibly supportive group of like minded folks in the same stage of life. Overall, it's been a perfectly happy spot. I just have to figure out how to keep it that way.

From now on I might take some time to figure it all out. I am not feeling especially eager lately about documenting every aspect of our family and our highlights so I might be more sporadic in my postings and maybe even more wordy(!) - seeing that until now, I've never really taken the time to actually "Write," like I love, figuring the images spoke for me. We'll see. 

Hopefully my mid-day rambles don't make you cringe. Not at all my intention. I just thought voicing these new concerns might help me work through them in some way so that I can continue to care about this space they way I always have. 

Thanks you kindly for listening. 


Much love,
J

noted inspiration and big thanks to these always eloquent gals and theses posts for making me "think it over"//  Milla & Naurnie 

19 comments:

  1. I had a blog with a fair amount of followers, but I abandoned it almost three years ago without a word of farewell. I started it to connect with a community of people who were into the same thing. But no one ever posted comments. It was just me. People were reading but not responding. And for some reason I would feel guilty if I didn't post like three times a week. Then a too-young family member died, and I decided eff this, and turned inward to the people who are really here! So, anyway, I totally understand.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Firstly let me say that I'm going to miss your blog if you stop writing!! But I very much understand where you're coming from. Lately I'm feeling much more like living my real life than reading about somebody else's in blog land. I have a real love/ hate relationship with blogging. I don't feel terribly comfortable posting a whole lot of personal things, but then that's what I always love reading most about with other peoples blogs! I often think about hanging up my blogging boots... but never quite bring myself to do it.
    Either way I have enjoyed reading and looking at all the photos of your beautiful family. Looks like you guys have a good thing going on there! x

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been blogging and instagramming for only a few months, but I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes you get caught up with trying to capture every moment on instagram or on camera for that matter, that you really forget to enjoy that moment, that beautiful sunset, your sweet dinner with your partner or a loved one, or a special moment with a loved one. I love your blog and I hope you find that inspiration!

    Theresa
    http://bomamma.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love reading these kind of 'rambles' because it's just very real... and these are thoughts that I think all of us who spend time documenting and sharing our lives consider. I started blogging just shy of a year ago (only knowing of one or two blogs at the time) mostly as a way to document all the pictures I was already taking and record some of my thoughts as I transitioned from a busy career to a busy life as a mom at home. I quickly learned that there was a whole world of blogs out there and for the most part it's been a wonderful discovery. Most of my local friend's don't stay at home, so it's been great to find this community of other smart, creative, and talented women who have made a similar choice to my own. I also get a lot of inspiration for design work (which is still part of my life) and photography.

    BUT, there are so many instances when I am juggling my camera and my cell phone to document a moment that I have to check myself and realize it's getting nutty and a need a time out. I only just started instagram and it's even worse than the blog because it's always there and it's such instant gratification. It's fun though, and your feed is one of my very favorite. I love your style and adorable boys- so thanks for sharing what you feel comfortable sharing (and good for you for taking a break when you need to as well!).

    -Lilly

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh man. i feel yeah. lady. i feel so stuck. and it really seems to be going around a lot lately. sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Stick to who you are...it shows on here, and I think it'd be a shame for others not to hear your voice. Your photos are raw and your life is beautiful! We all get in slumps, you'll come out of it with new vision. : * love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I totally appreciate what you're saying. Both mine and my husband's lives revolve around the internet and aesthetics and seeing the beauty around us, but as a result day to day life suffers. How can you keep meaningful family relationships going when you have to constantly check emails, twitter and document rather than enjoy.
    Take a break and enjoy your family and you'll eventually find your way back to what you truly love doing....that's what I'm trying anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Jessica, I'm a new mum in Australia who has recently come across your blog and instagram account and just wanted to say how much I enjoy following your photos and words as I search for inspiration to best capture our little life together. Your boys are very lucky to have their childhood captured so beautifully. Great photos and 'commentary' to treasure forever.

    Cass

    ReplyDelete
  9. i have been feeling the exact same way. (reason being for week of NO posts- which i've never done other than when i've been on vacation... and barely any ig pics) i can go on {and on} about this topic but i'll spare you ;) and just say that i try really hard to write the blog out of a space of truth, not image... but on the other hand- not so true that it's a space for ranting/whining/complaining (on "those" weeks where that's all i feel that i have to offer).

    i don't say this as a way to spam my blog here, but wanted to share because it has weighed heavily on my mind as of late as well... i wrote a post (my latest post) that generated such thoughtful comments (thoughtful, inspiring, funny, helpful...) and i thought to myself- THIS is why i write a blog. a place to share (tips/stories/observations/my-our 'journey') and a place to for others to share right back. here is the link to the post if you want to see what i mean! :) http://www.torriesessions.blogspot.com/2012/10/get-up-go.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Man, this post really resonates with me. I think when you reach some sort of saturation point with social media, you take a step back and question your involvement with it. On one or many levels. And your comment about the sunset and Instagram - yes, absolutely. Rather than emmersing yourself in the present real life experience, you sometimes find yourself preempting what that would look like as a happy snap...so to speak. I thought I might give up Blogger for a while but now I find I come back for the writing. I still love photography blogs, but my favourite posts are those that are fresh and well-written, no matter what the topic. And a great capture supported by the perfect quote, extract from a novel or original thought - well, for me that is always worth coming back for. I just don't visit as often. You are a natural born writer, so more wordy is good, Jessica. That said, I still love your space as it is, your images and words around them. There's true authenticity here. And I'm loving you over on Instagram by the way, hello fan base :)

    x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bloggers tend be introspective people, so it should come as no surprise that we're the ones who take issue with the falseness of it all. Hard to always be "connected" / hard to be unconnected. I, unlike you, don't have a business to worry about, just my writing. And blogging helps it, tremendously. But I so understand where you're coming from. I will say, however, that the reason I've always loved your internet persona remains the same - it feels genuine, you write thoughtfully and well, and you've just got something different. Now lots of people think so. For what it's worth.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I agree wry everything you said and have had the Instagram heartache if I see something and my phone is not handy,Our world is very materialistic especially Instagram.Countless photos of things people own is tiring and frankly uninteresting in the grand scheme of things.

    A man jumped from space...now that's cool!;)

    Write what ou want to write and post as you wish-its YOUR space to do what ere you wish with it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My iPad wont let me spell check sorry!grrr

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dear J. I know I'm late to the party, but here's my couple of cents all the same: WRITE MORE STUFF LIKE THIS. I'm just selfish, I'd like to get to know you better. And while I love what you share, I'd welcome more wordy postings. Honestly since we're getting a say, I'd love more of your personal style as well as your words. Whenever I catch a glimpse of your lovely self, I'm delighted and inspired.

    I know it must be difficult to have a personal blog associated with a business, but I find that the more folks strive to be themselves online, the less fatigued they get. Projecting an image, is hard work. That's at least been my experience.

    Some bloggers I started following way back in the day, who have since made their way to the more commercial side of blogging, seem to have definitely succumbed to the kind of automaton-blogging that keeping a perfect image makes for. Outfit post-cute event-stuff-outfit post-cute event-other stuff...Personal opinions and events and controversial ideas at a minimum.

    Take time, write, do whatever you'd like. It's your space and we're just happy to be here.

    I'm so glad you wrote this, it's a lovely piece of your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  15. wow. another of my world's longest comments...

    ReplyDelete
  16. You are definitely feeling the same kind of blogging blues I was feeling for a long time. For me it took me awhile to realize the feelings were coming from the fact that I had told the story that I had set out to tell. I was finished. The story was exciting to write about as it was unfolding, and I wish I had recognized the end sooner, because for months and months after I was just going through the motions because people were still around. It became forced.

    I think you are in a cool position to decide what story you want to tell next. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've been having this same inner dialogue, and have yet to figure out the answer. I think that I would miss my little blog (which is really just visited by family and close friends anyway,) but I have definitely become disenchanted with "documenting" moments as opposed to just being in them.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Every weekend i used tо pay а quick visit
    thіs web рage, for the reason that i want enjoyment, since thіs thiѕ wеb page conatіons trulу nicе funny materіal toο.


    Hеге is mу homepagе; personal loans

    ReplyDelete