I started out this new year the same as everybody else. Amped and fully charged to forge some serious life style changes that would in turn hopefully better my state of mind from here on out. Things I mentioned previously in the brief resolution post below. To eat better, to excise more regularly, to write and read more, and basically - most importantly - to direct my focus and energy more intentionally in regards to every thing I do. Something I've been thinking about a lot leading up to this new year. The ever pressing issue of time management and how much we really are in charge of what we can accomplish based on where and how we devout our attention throughout the day. Though a few days in I started to feel the familiar sense of defeat already creeping in. And then it occurred to me. The weight of disorder plaguing just about every corner of my house, always in the forefront of mind, were in fact poisoning most hope of any successful new resolutions because how can you concentrate on writing when laundry is spilling out of your closet? And your desk is buried and your dishes piled? And how can you expect to exercise guilt free when your room is crammed with stacks of clean clothes but no place to put them? And the awful extent of your pantry is taunting you every time you pass it, and the sad state of your kitchen cupboards make you want to sit down and cry every time you attempt a new meal? And how in world can your children help clean it all up if in fact they aren't sure where so many things go either?
Basically, I hit a breaking point and felt the urge to toss out any damn thing in my way. I was SO incredibly tired of coming home to the piles and stacks and boxes and whatnot. So much that I stopped thinking about any other resolutions I made and dedicated myself to working through the clutter instead. With the help of my always dutiful sister we decided to tackle this house, one corner at a time starting with the laundry room and moving yesterday into the kitchen. As of now I am mid way through. Feeling so much lighter and freer already that I probably run the risk of sounding like a preach all by going into to much further detail about how enlightened my state of mind has become in just the few days of new organization I've been waking to. The peace of mind that comes with suddenly having so much less "STUFF" to think and deal with, feels something like a small awakening.
All the reason I won't be back here until I am close to feeling more finished. Slicing computer / internet time was the first thing I realized I needed to do to actually make a dent here. But when I return, I hope to hatch out a series of posts dedicated to this kind of desperate decluttering. Not because I am feeling anything close to an expert - believe me this will always be the furthest thing from the truth, but because I know so many others reading might be feeling the exact same way, weighed and defeated by things, and I want to encourage anybody out there who needs it, to just clear it all out.
As of now, I am working a second round of the closets, stripping more shoes and toys, and whatever else the boys have accumulated over the past few months that need to go. The working formula being: a little more coffee, a lot more patience, forced / faltering determination, and whole lot less phone time. Results, so far so good.
See you all soon,
J
