Saturday, November 21, 2015

Overheard




"Rex is crazy. He must have PDHT." - Arlo meaning "ADHD"


"If you can't find something, just pray about it." - Leon advising his cousin on recovering her missing red crayon.


"You know, my friend, the one with the messed up haircut?" - Rex using every wrong example (instead of names) in reference to school friends.


"You will never play the kind of songs I play Leon, the kind people want to hear." - Rex, insulting Leon for who knows what reason.


"He was a guy, who imagined all these people, and he had a big white piano that sold for one billion dollars." - Leon, informing the neighbor kid on John Lennon, and his dream, and his billion dollar piano.


"You know, HARAAAAM. The foutune cookie kid? With the small eyes?" - Rex, in yet another cringeworthy after school Kindergarten story.


"Ok, I'll ask Grandpa then." - Arlo's solution to me crossing off a quad on his Christmas list.


"You know I don't care about these things, right?" - Rex, in reference to desperate alphabet flashcard attempts to get him to know and love, all 26 letters like every other kid in the class.


"Just stop counting, cause no one's listening." - Rex, in reference to another desperate attempt to engage him in counting games through the day like I was instructed.


"I'm saving up all my money in one secret spot. And I know Leon never checks the mattress." - Arlo, to Rex. Making one big mistake.


"You never want us to eat anything good." - Arlo sulking over the long stranding war for "Lunchables."


"All my best friends in class have brown faces." - Rex Stuck on politically incorrect markers, instead of actual NAMES.


"She is so smart she's famous smart. She reads Harry Potter, and she has a notebook, and gets trophies for being famous smart." - Leon describing Isabella, his new (perfectly paired) best friend.


"And sometimes, it seems, shoes are optional" - Rex's teacher at our semester conference on his tendency, apparently, to take his shoes off randomly in class whenever the urge strikes him.


"I just want a tiny baby monkey, or, a hoover board."- Rex drafting his own Christmas list wishes.


"Oh no, this is NOT jello." - Boy Scout participant's mother at the Fall feast, talking about my Jello. Which, sadly did not freeze in time (because I had no idea Jello needed so much time) and ended up a slimy blue liquid rather than the desired chunks of blue sea. Like it was suppose to...


"I did. Because it was pretty." - Leon defending his purchase from the book fair - A pink foam flower on a pencil that spins when you wind it.


"No my mom doesn't have any money." - Rex to the school lunch lady at the register when she told him his account was low and suggested asking his mother to refill it. His lunch was on the house that day.


"Oh you did. Well, I went to Farrells and ate ice cream, then we went to Disneyland and I ate candy. Then I went to Grandma's house and drank coke." - Rex with a lie as big as he could manage, to Leon once he realized the three of us had snuck away to see a movie without him, instead of getting out oil changed like he was led to believe.


"Yah. I'm the husband." - Leon confirming my inquires about his recess "house" play in the field.


"Is this Isis?" - Rex pointing to an Indian man in the pages of the NY Times.


"Dad owes me so much money but never says when he's going to pay me. " - Arlo learning the hard way 'bout working for dad during peak teepee season.


"I had to go sooooooo bad. So then I did. And it went all the way down into my shoe." - Rex explaining his recent accident at school that happened during speech class when he was apparently too busy to break for business. And was't the least bit embarrassed by the fact of it.


"You guys don't have to clean up. I'll do it. All by myself." - Leon to a house full of kids, who never offered or intended to help him clean up in the first place.


"SORRY! YOU LITLLE BABY KID!" - Rex to Leon, apologizing, but not.


" Here Arlo, I found you a dollar!" - Rex, handing a delighted Arlo the dollar he stole from him the day before.




11 comments:

  1. Rexxxxxx! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are hysterical! I particularly love Rex's remarks on learning his letters and Arlo's comment about you never letting them eat anything 'good', cause I have a Lunchable war going on at my house too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please. Don't ever stop.

    ReplyDelete
  4. These are hysterical. I evision you keep them written in the notes app on your phone. Or else I wonder how you remember them all. I need to write down Sally Gray's crazy mess, too. Her current favorite is to say, "WALK AWAY!" when she doesn't want to participate in what you're asking her to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yep I keep them in "notes" on my laptop Lauren. You gotta save sassy Sallyisms :D

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete