"Crooked, crooked, crooked, crooked, crooked, crooked, crooked, Hillary."
- Grumpy old man to friend the weekend after election at the Flea market, who's devotion to Trump became reflective in his parallel speech pattern. Because, when in doubt, repeat till defeat.
"Aren't we all just here, shopping our sorrows away."
- Flea market lady to friend. Noting the growing bulk of soul less vintage loot crowding a plastic cart she was pushing down the Turkish rug isles.
"I've never wanted to physically hurt people before, like kick them for no reason at all, but that's how I feel now. On the subway, I literally feel myself wanting to psychically harm people."
- Best Friend, on the outskirts of her better self, post Trump victory.
"No. I unfriended her too."
- 20 something girl to another 20 something girl referring to her her grandmother in admitting the brutal extent of her post election friend cuts on Facebook.
"Are you sure you're ready for that?"
- Friend, in concern. Genuinely worried about whether I was strong enough - post Nov 8th - to dine with closet conservatives.
"Mom ... are you awake?"
- Arlo, genuinely confused by the state of my frazzled consciousness around 10:oopm on election night, sitting glassy eyed on the couch, stale champagne and men's pajamas on contemplating the end of the universe.
"Be nice to him. He might be the only one who bails you out of jail one day."
- Me, during an admittedly low point suffering post election blues, falling victim to plenty of sub par parenting moves in the wake of the results. Speaking to Rex, complaining about Leon.
"I'm not going to blow a bunch of money on people now who voted against my "lifestyle?"
- Best friend, via a late night phone conversation second guessing her choice in mid grade champagne picks for the family gathering in honor of her recent marriage, of which half apparently believe might still be "healed" with proper intervention / therapy and Mike Pence in power.
"American. Headed, for, damnation!"
- Hung over hipster trying to lowball a vintage flag for sale at the flea market and getting side eyed glances from the cowboy manning the booth beside him who was not in the mood.
"The funny thing is, the group we're going with don't even really know you. So they have no idea how there is a very good chance you'll end up staying in the hotel room all day because it's too cold outside. Or you get a "bad feeling"about the subway ride."
- Best Friend, on the realities of my phobias potentially overshadowing my protest convictions.
"I mean, it's so hard you know? To argue when you know you're smarter, and right."
- Group of women talking politics over coffee in L.A
"So Christmas party is going to be much smaller this year, I'm guessing?"
- Mike, in a passive aggressive critique of my feuds erupting daily on Facebook, once all lines were drawn and I had to come to terms with the fact that quite a few people I like in life, make really stupid mistakes.
"Of which I will never forgive him."
- Me, about Leon. Who thought it was funny to chant "TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP" while standing beside me in line at the voting station, prompting an immediate bond with fellow conservatives in the community standing shoulder to shoulder for over an hour, kindly filling me in on new word of voter fraud, and all kinds of other crazy conservative conspiracies in circulation that day. That I just had to suck up and stomach because it's hard to find your ground while wrangling four filthy kids who are dead set on showing off their new parkour tricks in a lobby of breakables, while continually punching each other in the stomach.
"Me too, Rex. Me Too."
- My knee jerk response to Rex saying he was "scared" of a Donald Trump presidency the day after. *Later corrected with a few better suited, grown up type sentiments and reassurance.
"From now, it's all bad fashion, bad music, bad hair, bad taste."
- My stripped down take a Republican tide turning. From a superficial (stylistic) point of view anyway.
"I do find relief in knowing there is revenge in the poor qualities of the parties. Think of who they have to perform at these things - it's like Ted Nugent opening for Ted Nugent with an encore by Ted Nygent.
- Me, relaying the stupid things that now bring me joy. Like envisioning how awful the Inauguration Ball will be with acts like Hank Williams II and Ted Nugent as the only headliners I can possibly fathom.
"People keep saying that it's because we are so clueless. Living in a bubble of like minded West Coast luxuries or something. I don't think that's true do you?"
- Friend, philosophizing over organic quiche bites and a shot of wheat grass amongst a cafe full of somberly defeated liberals brunching in black coats and straw hats in Silverlake last month.
- KK's one contribution for tee shirt font suggestions to don for best impact during the Women's March in WA next month. Of which I know we can build off of.
"Everybody make mistakes."
- A explanation to Leon, who told me that his friend's mom voted Trump.
"That's because you've only known me through the Obama years."
- My response to a friend's remark claiming they never knew I could get so "worked up over" politics.
"An extra 7lbs and a serious influx in curse words."
- Admitting to a friend two additional things I am also currently blaming on Trump these days.