"You don't ever have to pay dude. My mom gots it. Every time"
- Rex declining his friends offer to pay his own way into the movie we were headed for.
"It literally hurts. Like watching your ex get fit, move on, and then hook up with a pretty blonde on an exotic vacation you see while trolling the timeline on his Facebook."
- Friend, over breakfast on the hurt involved in seeing Barrack looking well rested, well adjusted and pretty damn fine in his newly tipped baseball hat, shorts, and abs.
"I hope Siri jumps out of that dumb phone and smacks you in the face one day!"
- Leon, to Rex, feeling newly neglected on a weekend because of an ipod housing a sharp lady named siri.
"I would have like that."
- Leon's response to me explaining that the reason I didn't buy them anything in D.C was due to the only notable loot being Obama memorabilia. Which apparently he would have appreciated. #tears
"Was Leon's mom there?"
- Leon's classmate, asked of Leon's teacher during a video on Martin Luther King showing protesters in Washington marching for civil rights. Because if you've been to one protest you've been to them all. Even if they happened decades before your birth . . .
"I think I was probably more willing to work out a deal with him over the others simply because he had a Hillary sticker on his car. Is that wrong?"
- Me, to a friend in regards to the real estate agent who came to negotiate the price of our house. Driving a Kia with an "I'm with Her" sticker on his bumper.
"No, I got it from the tooth fairy on Christmas."
- Rex, on the mysterious yellow toothbrush I found in the bathroom and wondered aloud where it came from.
"If I tell him to bite you, he's going to bite you."
- Rex, to Leon. About Hayes who now serves as his tiny loyal hitman just waiting for word (or reason) for attack.
"Can't you just drop us off and go to starbucks like all the other moms?"
- Arlo, not amused by my habit of parking next to the curb at the skatepark and clapping when he is shredding.
"Can you not say "shredding" to my friends?"
- Arlo, not amused by my use of the term "shredding"
"I'm not going there and making all those dumb girl pictures. I only do that on Valentines Day."
- Rex, declining a second term of the after school program "art smarts" which apparently involved too many still life flower paintings for his liking.
"You just got back from a week long trip hanging out with a bunch of ladies dressed up like Vaginas and you're worried going to see a band play at a dive bar makes you look bad?'
- Mike, in response to me fretting over asking his parents to watch the boys two days after my return from D.C. to see a country band at a neighboring bar.
"Worst day ever."
- Rex, bummed about no real life breathing yellow bird as a gift on his birthday. Later to be overridden by the proclamation "best day ever" after a successful skate session with his friends.
- Hayes, approx 10 times, loudly, during lunch with friends. Thanks to whomever taught it to him and is responsible for it being (unfortunately) one of the only words he can pronounce clear as day. Especially, it seems, in restaurant settings.
"Where are you reading this stuff?!"
- Arlo, resentful of the new "no screen Wednesdays" which forbids all usage of electronics in the house midweek. Which I found in an article suggested by a friend on Facebook, thank you very much.
"Can someone pay me?!"
- Leon, finally frustrated by his allowance debts forever expanding.
"Dad said no one wants chickens or lamas and I should just tell you"
- Arlo, breaking the news on their true feelings behind the prospects of country (canyon) living.
"And did she seem happy? Or, like, suuuper sad?"
- Me, forever digging. While hearing Leon's teacher had them tune into to watch the inauguration in class.
"He doesn't seem the least bit bothered by my admitting that I just might leave him for a tall Danish Women."
- Me, to my bf on a phone call home from NY. In which my lady crush on Helena seemed to fall on easily approving ears.
He lost the popular vote!"
- Recounting a protest chant stuck in my head with enthusiasm to Hayes, at bedtime, instead of the regular (this little piggy) Which I think he may have liked a lot better.
"Siri, how many tacos does it take to circle the moon?"
Leon, bitten by the siri bug.