25 Confessions

1. I bear a slight aversion to "cutsie talk" in conversation. And while I don't mind it at all coming from others - I swear I don't - Not even a little bit -  I myself have never been known to utter the phrase "littles" (for kids) or "Hubby" (for husband) or "pressie" for presents. I just can't. My overall avoidance of popular slang is kind of life long affliction of mine. As a teen I tried hard to get in good with the ever changing trends that define jr high lingo but always felt like a complete sham when I did so I ended up sticking to my signature phrases which included a whole lot of "neats" where "cool" or "rad" should have been.

2. My most cherished (and self centered trait) is fact of my astrological sign. Basically I think Scorpios are the coolest ladies - the best ladies - and I can't deny how proud it makes me that I was born one. I know everyone is biased when it comes to their signs, but really, Scorpios, they're kind of in a category all their own I think . . .

3. I don't commonly refer to my husband as my "husband" but usually by his name "Mike" (assuming anyone I'm talking to assumes him to be my husband) or occasionally my "partner" which always has new acquaintances thinking I'm obviously a lesbian, and are therefore noticeably taken aback when Mike walks into the scene instead. Not sure where that hesitance on the term stems but I try not to make much of it because I think "Mike" (or **Chris to those who know him by his legal name) and "Partner" are kind of cuter anyway?

4. I am forever setting myself up with big expectations of cooking these amazing soups I save as bookmarks on my laptop and am being constantly let down by my inability to actually make any of them. But behold, 2017, I'm still working on it.

5. I almost got out of my car and cursed a lady in the rain yesterday who cut in front of me in a stand still drive through line. Apparently the incessant honking and crazed hand gestures reflected in her rearview mirror (in the company of a van full of children) didn't phase her much though because she stood her ground and refused to back out even when I gave her PLENTY of room to do so. To which all I can say is: #KARMAWILLFINDYOU

6. I wash a lot of my laundry twice because I fail to move it one foot over into the cozy confines of the ever failing dryer. But I tell myself people are guilty of so much worse. . .

7. I'm a sucker for any movie or series that has an edge of post modern depression. Or takes place in L.A -  involves a downward spiral due to a steamy affair, has a quirky aunt from out of town wearing a worn denim jacket, set by the ocean anywhere on the East Coast, stars Frances McDormand, or Michelle Williams, or Daniel Day Lewis.

8. I don't read as many books as I pretend to.

9. I also don't watch as much T.V as I want to.

10. My interior monologues for blog posts are always much funnier (and more entertaining) in my head driving to the beach than they usually wind up here in Internet form. But I'm guessing that's the case for lots of mid grade writers manning personal blogs?

11.  I cry almost every time I hear "Imagine" because it's pretty much the song with the biggest message pop culture can possibly translate.

12. Oddly enough, I've never wanted a white piano.

13. My real hair, air dried, is literally frightful. The scariest sight. And I'm about as low maintenance as they come. So the fact that I feel the need to tend to it at ALL, says volumes about it's natural state. I blame giving birth and all of those crazy hormone shifts as the driving force behind it.

14. I spent 15 frantic minutes at the park last weekend freaking out because I couldn't find my car anywhere and feared it stolen (again!) Until it occurred to finally, in the peak of my boiling panic attack, that we actually walked there.

15. I use to run 3 miles every day for 10 years. Rain or shine. Everyday.
I still miss that girl . . .

16. I am great at multi tasking so long as none of it involves actually finishing anything.

17. My middle name is Lee. Same as my moms.

18. I loath shopping malls. And Costco. Always have. Probably always will. But Costco I should really get use to. . .

19. I was fired from multiple chain restaurants all through my 20s. Before I realized I was a miserable waitress. And it showed.

20. I still can't spell "restaurant" without the assistance of spellcheck.

21. I only slightly regret the phrase "The Future is Female" because I live with six males (counting the dog)

22. I am a frightfully intuitive person and am drawn to women who are blessed with the same gift. The ones you hardly have to get to "know" because you already know what one another is thinking and feeling. And silence in conversation with these types is allowed (even sometimes soothing)

23. Sometimes I make up the most annoying songs I possibly can just to annoy my kids which brings me so much strange joy that I should be ashamed. And yet I can't stop.

24. I held out on the emoji game for a good long while because it seemed downright juvenile and lame as a real means of communication. Like when I tried to imagine Joan Didion or Virginia Woolf using them in correspondence it literally pained me. They would never! When I first flirted with the use of them I felt a little less a women with every kissy face I sent. But now I'm as bad as a 13 year old Asian girl with a glitter cased phone engaged in daily school girl banter. A fact I've just come to accept because all of society has too.

25. I'll probably regret this silly post four hours after it's up. Because I do with nearly everything I've ever shared here. But I also needed reason to use this: my all time favorite old school shruggy emoji friend  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯