Tuesday, March 14, 2017

25 Confessions



1. I bear a slight aversion to "cutsie talk" in conversation. And while I don't mind it at all coming from others - I swear I don't - Not even a little bit -  I myself have never been known to utter the phrase "littles" (for kids) or "Hubby" (for husband) or "pressie" for presents. I just can't. My overall avoidance of popular slang is kind of life long affliction of mine. As a teen I tried hard to get in good with the ever changing trends that define jr high lingo but always felt like a complete sham when I did so I ended up sticking to my signature phrases which included a whole lot of "neats" where "cool" or "rad" should have been.


2. My most cherished (and self centered trait) is fact of my astrological sign. Basically I think Scorpios are the coolest ladies - the best ladies - and I can't deny how proud it makes me that I was born one. I know everyone is biased when it comes to their signs, but really, Scorpios, they're kind of in a category all their own I think . . .


3. I don't commonly refer to my husband as my "husband" but usually by his name "Mike" (assuming anyone I'm talking to assumes him to be my husband) or occasionally my "partner" which always has new acquaintances thinking I'm obviously a lesbian, and are therefore noticeably taken aback when Mike walks into the scene instead. Not sure where that hesitance on the term stems but I try not to make much of it because I think "Mike" (or **Chris to those who know him by his legal name) and "Partner" are kind of cuter anyway?


4. I am forever setting myself up with big expectations of cooking these amazing soups I save as bookmarks on my laptop and am being constantly let down by my inability to actually make any of them. But behold, 2017, I'm still working on it.


5. I almost got out of my car and cursed a lady in the rain yesterday who cut in front of me in a stand still drive through line. Apparently the incessant honking and crazed hand gestures reflected in her rearview mirror (in the company of a van full of children) didn't phase her much though because she stood her ground and refused to back out even when I gave her PLENTY of room to do so. To which all I can say is: #KARMAWILLFINDYOU


6. I wash a lot of my laundry twice because I fail to move it one foot over into the cozy confines of the ever failing dryer. But I tell myself people are guilty of so much worse. . .


7. I'm a sucker for any movie or series that has an edge of post modern depression. Or takes place in L.A -  involves a downward spiral due to a steamy affair, has a quirky aunt from out of town wearing a worn denim jacket, set by the ocean anywhere on the East Coast, stars Frances McDormand, or Michelle Williams, or Daniel Day Lewis.


8. I don't read as many books as I pretend to.


9. I also don't watch as much T.V as I want to.


10. My interior monologues for blog posts are always much funnier (and more entertaining) in my head driving to the beach than they usually wind up here in Internet form. But I'm guessing that's the case for lots of mid grade writers manning personal blogs?


11.  I cry almost every time I hear "Imagine" because it's pretty much the song with the biggest message pop culture can possibly translate.


12. Oddly enough, I've never wanted a white piano.


13. My real hair, air dried, is literally frightful. The scariest sight. And I'm about as low maintenance as they come. So the fact that I feel the need to tend to it at ALL, says volumes about it's natural state. I blame giving birth and all of those crazy hormone shifts as the driving force behind it.


14. I spent 15 frantic minutes at the park last weekend freaking out because I couldn't find my car anywhere and feared it stolen (again!) Until it occurred to finally, in the peak of my boiling panic attack, that we actually walked there.


15. I use to run 3 miles every day for 10 years. Rain or shine. Everyday.
I still miss that girl . . .


16. I am great at multi tasking so long as none of it involves actually finishing anything.


17. My middle name is Lee. Same as my moms.


18. I loath shopping malls. And Costco. Always have. Probably always will. But Costco I should really get use to. . .


19. I was fired from multiple chain restaurants all through my 20s. Before I realized I was a miserable waitress. And it showed.


20. I still can't spell "restaurant" without the assistance of spellcheck.


21. I only slightly regret the phrase "The Future is Female" because I live with six males (counting the dog)


22. I am a frightfully intuitive person and am drawn to women who are blessed with the same gift. The ones you hardly have to get to "know" because you already know what one another is thinking and feeling. And silence in conversation with these types is allowed (even sometimes soothing)


23. Sometimes I make up the most annoying songs I possibly can just to annoy my kids which brings me so much strange joy that I should be ashamed. And yet I can't stop.


24. I held out on the emoji game for a good long while because it seemed downright juvenile and lame as a real means of communication. Like when I tried to imagine Joan Didion or Virginia Woolf using them in correspondence it literally pained me. They would never! When I first flirted with the use of them I felt a little less a women with every kissy face I sent. But now I'm as bad as a 13 year old Asian girl with a glitter cased phone engaged in daily school girl banter. A fact I've just come to accept because all of society has too.


25. I'll probably regret this silly post four hours after it's up. Because I do with nearly everything I've ever shared here. But I also needed reason to use this: my all time favorite old school shruggy emoji friend  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



21 comments:

  1. Number 4. I do that with anything pinterest related haha. I wish I could do it ALL!!

    - Greta
    www.mintyfrosting.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. damn pinterest, setting us all up for failure.

      Delete
  2. My middle name is Lee too. Mostly you meet people with Leigh, not too many Lee's out there though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lee with the double E is where it's at :D

      xo

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  3. Shot in dark....but I have been searching for this exact piece for our study. Any chance you or your husband still have a list of pipe materials needed?

    http://houseofhabit.blogspot.com/2011/12/home-workspipe-shelf-unit-in-boys-room.html#comment-form

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, let me ask!
      I think he can pull one together and maybe we can offer it along with the playhouse one we're drafting this month.

      Delete
  4. My first name is Lee. I am a intuitive Gemini who used to run. I am a mother of all boys. And I am horrible at slang and differ in that I find it annoying, especially when people use the word "girlfriend". And I cringe looking back at my old posts. But I am grateful for your posts. Always. You are a such a positive influencer (wait, is that word slang?). xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cringe at old posts too. all the time. even some from like, last month.

      Which is why I usually NEVER reread my posts ...

      xo

      Delete
  5. Ah HA I suspected you might be a Scorpio! My mum is one (and German on top of that, as if she wasn't blunt and direct enough!). I think they've got to be my favourite kind of people, once you learn to by pass the stinger! I landed with worst one (in my opinion), a Virgo. It's bloody exhausting being a Virgo... and I suspect being married to one is too! I also struggle to talk about my 'husband', haha it feels altogether too grown up or something. Thanks for sharing, always nice to learn about other peoples quirks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. German Scorpio - Double threat! And yes, the "stinger"

      Virgos are so good though. My Leon is a Virgo too. And you guys are So good at being good.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. In a class all their own.

      (mean that good, and bad...)

      Delete
  7. lol to #16.... and can totally relate. I also start off (with good intentions) at various projects and somewhere tumble off the cliff.
    Like you, I am also very intuitive. Sometimes I know things I wish I didn't, but for the most part my radar serves me (and sometimes others) very well.
    I love your emoji.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love other "extremely" intuitive people It's such a gift. I know what you mean though about it being somewhat of a curse too. Sometimes knowing or feeling things we wish we didn't. And I do agree, that most times it's there to serve us best if we listen to it.

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  8. the fuck kind of comment is that about 13 year old Asian girls? dude.

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  9. I was being funny. Asian girls love emojis. All tweens do. That's a fact. Sorry if it came off offensive. Believe me, I get the need to hold people accountable to unjust stereotypes and political correctness but I also think, on certain occasion, we could stand to lighten up (just a little)

    Seems Humor isn't an option anymore. And I think it's kind of a shame. As a white women who has no problem making fun of herself and her peers (for adhering to steotypical white lady tendencies) constantly on here, I mean no harm in anything I write here. But you certainly have your right to be offended regardless of that. Again, my apologies.


    Sincerely,
    J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. as a random sidenote - this also makes me really miss Morgan over at the Brick House Home Blog.
      Crass Humor in blogging form's finest.

      Delete
  10. More lee middle names here too- a lot of the ladies on my dads side (Australians) which we only found out when I gave my daughter lee as a middle name - spooky! My lee was for lee miller, and I think the Aussie lees may have been inspired by lee radiziwill, Jackie o s sis - I think their maternal name was lee - do you know the story behind your lee name? ..

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  11. I don't, so now I'll have to ask. Love hearing about yours though!

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  12. I have to agree about the Asian girl comment. It's truly tactless and backwards. May even be just as bad as supporting trump to think it's okay. I use emojis not because I love them and I'm Asian but because I'm using them? I thought your habit was funny until I read that last sentence and was offended. If you're okay with offending Asian people for humor though. Go right ahead. very 80s teen flick humor though.

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  13. I read the comment much differently. I have a very close friend from Japan, came the U.S. as a translator really, and she is ALWAYS using emojis. She will even put smiley faces and drawings throughout handwritten letter and cards. If you are reading the Asian-emoji action as one that is commentary on race and not culture, sure it may seem offensive as an Asian-American. Especially in the current political climate of the U.S. (though I do not think the Trump comment was necessary).
    It seems to me that emojis are quite celebrated and fun in some Asian cultures, and specifically in Japanese written language, because the characters of the native written language is so flowing and full of depth of understanding. It is not a word-by-word language. A single character evokes many emotions, thoughts, and meanings, and all in context. This is a difficult concept for English speaking people to comprehend. I remember her basically telling me that in the Japanese language, there is no word for 'No.' And consequently, when I would text her a question from my phone in which I would most certainly expect a No, I would receive an emoji with a tongue out, or some other silly face. I'm sure it came no where near to the expressive nature of her native language, but I was grateful that emojis could in come way bridge the gap of our language barrier.
    So please, the Jessica made comment may not inspire racism as you are viewing it. Perhaps a little grace and trust could be employed here? xox
    And, yes, it is so unfortunate that the 80's were so cruel in the depiction of every race that was not white... but you see how they payed for it with the ridiculous hair and the clothing, right??? ;D
    Much love and peace xx

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