A cumulation of things heard, and overheard, around the house these past few weeks.
"My name's not Rex. It's Bloodshot."
- Rex, revealing a new chosen name that came with being promoted to lead singer in his brother's budding rock band. Along with flannel shirts unbuttoned and cut off jean shorts a la Axel Rose.
"No, Rex, it doesn't go like that!"
- Arlo, frustrated at Rex adding incorrect lyrics (nobody wants yooooouuuuu, nobody needs yoooouuuu, nobody even LIKES yoooooouuuuu") to their ever serious attempt at a Black Sabath version of Iron Man.
"I just want to be good in my life."
Hand over heart, Leon muttering to himself in the backseat on a long drive home from the beach. Reinstating the suspected notion that he is in fact some kind of next age, modern prophet, OR, the new Oprah.
"He's crying because he doesn't like his name either."
- Rex, claiming Hayes's tears are because he would rather be called "bones" or "Little Bloodshot" than what we actually named him.
"You know them TOO!?"
- Arlo, disheartened to learn the Red Hot Chili Peppers (just like the Beasty Boys) are sadly not new or unique to his generation, but from his Mother and Father's, who also happen to know and can sing along to, every, single, word.
"Just let him go where he wants to, ok. Stop trying to ruin his life."
- Rex, directed at me at the park, guarding Hayes from dangerous spots on the jungle gym play ground where he could possibly take a major spill. And apparently, ruining his life while doing so.
"Mom, Rex said I can't be in their band because I'm not a rock 'n roll guy. But then I said, I'm gonna tell mom and she's gonna MAKE you let me be in that band, right mom?" - Leon, sadly proving himself that he's not maybe as rock 'n roll as he would like us all to believe . . .
"Oh, well I just saw a butterfly, so I'm just waiting for him to land. "
- Leon, finger outstretched to the sky during a picnic, holding out everlasting hope of having the darn thing land on his fingertip. Because if it can happen to Sponge bob, it can happen to anyone.
"For being funny, and making people laugh"
-Rex, when asked why he got kicked out of the neighbors house during a mid day playdate. Truth be told: he kicked over his friend's beloved lego creation in anger when he wasn't given a second life on Mario Brothers.
"Ok. I know, I know, I know I am! Stop making me feel bad about it!"
- Leon, in reference to Rex always ending every insult with the same old line "AND, you're married, Leon."
"Well now he said I can be the waterboy. I can pass out cold water bottles to the audience. And my shirt is going to say "BOSS."
- Leon, finally accepting Arlo's offered role as glorified roadie, so long as he gets to help thirsty people and wear his title on his sleeve, errr . . shirt.
"Yep. God fell off a cross in front of a like one million people. My teacher was there. She saw him, Leon."
- Rex, in an ever dramatic retelling of one of his recent preschool teachings.
"Stop LIAM!! You almost burnt ME, you know that?! But lucky for you, I'm FIRE PROOF."
- Rex, to neighbor kid blowing out a candle HE wanted to blow out. Full of grand allusions, always.
"I can't find it Mom. I looked but I just see like a big box of these weird black things"
- Arlo, stumbling onto a box of VHS tapes stored in the closet.
"No, it's Arlo's. I sneaked it off his finger when he was sleeping. "
- Rex, regarding the mood ring that appeared suddenly, suspiciously, upon his finger after being lost for some time. So I asked. Turns out, wasn't his. But yet another trophy of bedtime mugging.
"Jesus comes down from the sky and he finds all the lost skateboards in the world and then, he washes them, and leaves them on your front porch when you are sleeping. He finds the stolen ones too. So I know he's going to find mine soon. "
- Rex, explaining one ,very hopeful, but much less talked about roles of Jesus. Recollector of all stolen skateboards. Leon, not buying any of it.
"Why do you want to be so mean all the time?! WHY? WHYYYYYY?!!?"
- Leon, like Marlon Brandon in Street Car, hysterical in response to Rex snagging the first poured bowl of cereal.
"Oh wow, poor Leon."
- Arlo's pitied response to his brother's kindergarten naiveté, in hearing him talk about the gingerbread man they made in class that actually got up and ran away through the night. But then was quick to remind him later that day to "be sure your put tooth under the pillow, Leon! If the tooth fairy didn't come last night, it'll be tonight for sure!"
"Rex is cool. He sings good you just can't understand most of the things he's saying."
- Arlo, proud of his protege.
"Journey knows now and she got mad so I told her she could still call me her little marshmallow, but only to her mom."
- Leon, forever conflicted by non stop girl problems, love issues and school house heartaches, had to inform "the other girl" that his real love, Journey didn't approve of her pet nickname for him. But that she was free to use it in her mother's presence.
"Mom, Arlo told me that when you have surgery, the doctors cut you open with light sabers. Is that true, mom?"
- Leon, stumped on yet another big brother built myth. The last one being a detailed account about "the evil Easter bunny" who comes sometimes in place of the good one, big as a house, with red glowing eyes that kept poor Rex awake in fright for a week straight leading up to the big holiday.
"I told her you love Bob Dylan more than God, right mom?"
- Rex, relaying what he told his teacher that day.
Labels: overheard
